


Missed Opportunities

by gtfomyufo



Category: Marvel (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, M/M, Wedding, all the dialogue is canon, bobby is closeted at this point and wrestles with that, how do tags work this is my first post
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 18:36:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15149354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gtfomyufo/pseuds/gtfomyufo
Summary: Bobby is invited to Jean-Paul's wedding, and can't help but wonder if things could have worked out differently between them.orIceman's coming out as gay changes the context of old comics (specifically Astonishing X-men #52 and Uncanny X-men #415)





	Missed Opportunities

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic so please be gentle with me.

Bobby watched as Jean-Paul and his newlywed husband danced, twirling slowly in the air at their wedding reception. They looked so happy, and in love. Safe. Something stirred deep within him and he tried to push it back, a feeling akin to hope. Jealousy? The thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all, that maybe one day-

“Great wedding,” he blurted out to nobody in particular, trying his best to distract himself. That was him alright, always saying something, anything, in the hopes that he wouldn’t have to acknowledge what was really going on in his head. He’d build a brand for himself. Team blabber-mouth, the x-men’s resident jokester. This time he wasn’t careful enough not to let his true feelings bleed through. Perhaps his voice was a little off. He _felt_ off.

“But?” questioned Remy from nearby.

Bobby became defensive, voice even more strained, “But nothing. It was great.”

“Sure,” Cecelia conceded, “But you suddenly look all twitchy, Bobby,” she added with concern in her voice.

 _Fuck._ He’d have to think of an excuse real fast. He took a sip of champagne to buy himself time, before looking each of them in the eyes and saying, “I can’t stop thinking about Karma.”

Obviously, this was a total lie. Their missing, injured, and potentially evil-now teammate was the last thing on his mind right now, as much as he hated to admit. And now he’d gone and created an awkward silence, each of his teammates looking down and remembering the events of the week before. He crossed his arms, uncomfortable. He needed to get away, but he didn’t want to draw attention to himself. He looked back at Jean-Paul, and this time he was too tired not to think about it. He’d already constructed the perfect excuse for looking sad, or on-edge.

He couldn’t understand how Jean-Paul did it. How he could be a mutant _and_ gay. Looking up at him now, he thought maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all. Maybe it would be better than what Bobby had now, a string of failed relationships with women that did nothing to make him feel good, or right, and only caused tension in the aftermath.

He thinks he got close once, to hanging up the charade. It was quite some time ago, part of a different x-men line-up with Jean-Paul.

Jean-Paul was in the hospital, after an accident trying to save a newly-mutated boy with no control over his powers. Bobby had come in to get his injuries checked out, but didn’t want anyone to see what was happening to him. His chest was ice, and he couldn’t change it back. He also didn’t want to let on that he was hiding something, so instead of taking his shirt off in font of everyone, he told the nurse, “No sense getting everyone all hot and bothered,” before forgetting himself for a moment and looking over to add, “ _Right_ , Jean-Paul?” He thought he could get away with it, because of his reputation as the team jokester, but if he was being honest it was kind of just flirting he accidentally let slip through in the haste to keep his _other_ secret.

After his appointment with the nurse, he teased Jean-Paul about not doing any work, and the nurse suggested he took JP out for food. In hindsight, he wondered what that was about. Was she trying to set them up? Did she _know_? At the time, he wasn’t thinking. He was hit with a strange surge of confidence and he easily agreed to go. He even offered to buy. Of course, they were interrupted two seconds out the door. They were x-men, it happened.

There was a girl who called out to grab his attention, blue skin, white hair. What was her name? J-something. Josette? It was hard to remember through the haze, she used some kind of emotional manipulation on him. He shuddered. He hates remembering it’s so easy for other mutants to take control of him. Especially like that. What would have happened if she wasn’t there? If she hadn’t used him? What did she _want_ from him, anyway? To get back at her boyfriend?

For a moment, he wished she’d never been there, that the fight with her boyfriend never happened, even though it meant he got to be saved by Jean-Paul and be held in his muscular, Canadian arms just for a few glorious moments. Unblamed for any whispered comments about Jean-Pauls handsomeness, because everyone understood he was high on the lack of oxygen. Too delirious to keep himself in check.

If Josette hadn’t shown up, would he have gone through with the date? Or would he have chickened out at the last second and no-homo’d Jean-Paul after all?

For a small, guilty moment, he wondered if things had gone differently that night, would he be the one up there in Jean-Paul’s arms, twirling lovingly in the air? Would he be happy, too, or would he have just gotten his heart broken, and had to live with the consequences of being gay in a world that already hates mutants?

He supposed maybe it was better he didn’t have to find out. He supposed maybe it was too late for him after all.


End file.
